11/25/18

When Your Horse Doesn't Like You



Optional Pre-Reads
For anyone confused by the whimsy and glitter and puppetry of it all.

Part 1

What I Learned Growing Up with a Mom Who Did Singing Telegrams


Part 3

When Your Horse Doesn’t Like You


To my imaginative, creative mother, horses meant prosperity and dignity. She sketched them in whimsical shades of pink and blue with curly manes and purple stripes. Sometimes they had wings. Usually glitter.

In an effort to share the inspiration, my parents once scavenged a carousel horse for me. Mom painted it white with rainbow zebra stripes. Dad hung it on a trellis in the back yard. I must’ve been four or five.

I'd happily swing back and forth until I got too high. The chains would catch. I'd fly through the air, land in the grass, cry for a few minutes, go inside, have a popsicle, then come back out and repeat the whole routine. Knowing the horse could throw me, at any moment, offered a strange bonus thrill. An adrenaline rush.

History, it turns out, would repeat itself. And you know what they say about history, those who don't learn from their mistakes are doomed to repeat them. In fact, history has a lot of helpful advice for avoiding calamity. But hindsight is always twenty-twenty...there's a lesson in here somewhere amidst this Mike Brady paroxysm.

I promise I'll get to it at the end.

This Crimes of Grindelwald Promotional Video from Marie Claire You Need To See


Forget the fact that Dan Fogler is a charming, hilarious gem. Forget the fact we're all discovering Ezra Miller's edginess. Just. Please, please watch this video from 3:03 to 4:45 for a good laugh.





Ooh, ooh...how about a show called Dan Fogler Reacts? Where we just show Dan Fogler weird stuff and he, you know, reacts. I'd watch. 

For the record, I love it when actors get fatigued during press junkets. I know it's schadenfreude, but it's funny schadenfreude, which is the best kind. Also, it happens a lot, mostly because actors get locked in rooms for hours on end where they're forced to answer the same three or four questions ad nauseum. It's enough to make anyone slap happy. But this is a new level. A whole. 'Nother. Level.

Conan O'Brien Has a New Podcast

Get thee hence, comedy nerds!

Bonus Conan Content:

1. Here's my all-time favorite Conan remote.
2. Here's a thing I wrote about Conan that went moderately viral back in the day.

11/18/18

All the Classic Film References in Hail, Caesar!

Behold, my guide* to all the classic film references in the highly underrated Hail, Caesar! (Plus, here's another time I wrote about The Coen Brothers and their predilection for western genre structure.)

Now, onto the show...

The Coens have written yet another incredible detective story. This one is filled with fictionalized versions of real Hollywood figures. Their dreamlike universe is a nice place to visit if you already know the referential sites. If you're new to Old Hollywood, you may have been a little lost.

It would be easy for me to wax not-so-poetic about how much I loved Hail, Caesar! Instead, I've put together a primer to the film's many references.

If you're a Lebowski fan, but couldn't find your way into Hail Caesar!, read this list, then try again. It'll be worth it. I promise.


Question 1: What was up with Channing Tatum's character?